It may seem hard to read these words about grief being good.  That is because you are in grief right now.  It is good for you to be here so you can heal.  Grief does not mean you forget, only that you lessen the pain that you are experiencing.

With change comes loss, even if the change is good.  The loss must be grieved so you can leave the ‘old’ behind and move into the ‘new’ in a healthy way.

Most professionals agree that the grieving process consists of five stages that must be addressed in order for you to move on with your life.

The five stages are:

  • Denial – Not accepting that it’s really happening.
  • Bargaining – Believing that with negotiation or adjustment it can go back to the way it used to be.  (This applies more to the divorce than the death transition.)
  • Anger – Feeling that the situation is “unfair”.
  • Sadness – Feeling lost, alone, or vulnerable.
  • Acceptance – Realizing that things are not going back to the way they were, and it is time to move on.

When grieving a loss through death or divorce, you may move from one stage to the next and then back again.  This is a normal part of the process. Do NOT rush this process.  And trust that YOU will know when you have completed the grieving process.

You will know by a lightness in your spirit or a desire to re-engage in life again.

So when experiencing any change, do not resist the grieving process!!

Although at first it may not feel like grief is good, it does help you close one chapter of your life so you can more on to the next.